During the third session she asked Emily, “What would forgiveness look like to you?”
Emily thought for a long time.
“I used to think it meant not being angry anymore.”
“And now?”
“I think I can forgive him and still remember.”
Mark stared at the floor.
Miriam turned toward him.
“What would forgiveness mean to you?”
Mark’s answer came more quickly.
“Relief.”
Emily stiffened.
Mark noticed.
He continued.
“That’s the problem.”
Miriam waited.
“I keep wanting Emily’s forgiveness because I want relief from feeling ashamed.”
He looked at his wife.
“That makes forgiveness about me again.”
Emily’s expression changed.
Miriam nodded.
“So what do you need instead?”
Mark exhaled.
“To live with the fact that I did it.”
Emily’s eyes filled.
“And still become better.”
For the first time, Emily reached across the space between their chairs and touched his hand.
Only for a moment.
But she did it.
The triplets turned one in Claire’s backyard.
There was no country club.
No chandeliers.
No elaborate cake.
Just a long folding table, homemade cupcakes, paper decorations, and three little girls wearing matching sun hats they repeatedly tried to remove.
Grace smashed frosting into her hair.
Lily fed most of hers to Mark.
Faith fell asleep halfway through the celebration with one hand gripping Margaret’s necklace.
Emily stood beneath the maple tree watching them.
Claire walked over.
“You look happy.”
Emily smiled.
“I am.”
“With him?”
Emily considered the question.
“With my life.”
Claire nodded approvingly.
“That’s a better answer.”
Mark was crouched beside Grace, trying to wipe frosting from her nose.
He looked up.
Their eyes met.
He smiled.
Emily smiled back.
Claire followed her gaze.
“He’s different.”
“Yes.”
“Do you trust him?”
Emily thought about it.
“I trust him to show up tomorrow.”
Claire glanced at her.
“That doesn’t sound very romantic.”
Emily smiled.
“You’d be surprised.”
The six-month lease became nine months.
Then twelve.
Mark never complained.
On the anniversary of the day Emily moved into the rental, she asked him to meet her at their old house.
